nashua, new hampshire seems like an odd place for one of the five greatest albums in rock history to have been recorded, and perhaps it is, but when a refreshed alex chilton led his  powerful new band into a small but professional studio there in may of 1978, that is exactly what happened. chilton, long boggled by drugs and bad management, had recently taken up kung fu, and it definitely informed his choice of band mates. bob dylan attacks the drums like a judo ranger, and bass player tina turner was years from her comeback and hungry for a new chance at the limelight. together the three of them had high hopes of turning out a commercial masterwork to rival any that had come before.

that’s not exactly what happened.

across the street from the studio was a pretty decent chinese buffet. chilton, having a fascination with all things eastern, took the group and studio crew there on the first day of tracking. it was a habit that became hard to break for the rocker. most days were spent waiting for alex to get back from gorging on the shrimp and tofu dishes that were the restaurant’s specialty. the entire band played most of the songs in an MSG haze that can only be described as half nap, half bloat. drummer dylan even accidentally played one song with the complimentary chopsticks from the place.

as much as this seems like just another rock star tale of excess, it really did lead to some amazing jams…and a tremendous tab that the label happily picked up.

if you love a child or two, and if you are not a satanist or communist, chances are that in a week or so you will be enjoying the squeals of delight that emanate from the throats of kids gifted with plastic meat. although many holiday traditions have gone the way of the dinosaur (does anyone still get oranges in their stocking?), fake plastic meat is, for the 24th year in a row, still the most popular children’s toy, narrowly edging out the hello kitty water dispenser.

praise the lord and pass the ammunition. in a world where all of a sudden the beatles are a video game, and new varieties of the operation game come out faster than I can pull the boogers out of the shrek version, it’s nice to have an old standby to hang your hat on.

hand me that plastic bacon!

the sic alps, famed bay area “noise” rockers, have been almost single-handedly credited with the tremendous swell of christmas spending this season. most smart retailers have begun to continuously play a loop of the band’s 2009 output (found by clicking the picture of the group above.) this seems  to entrance consumers into spending more money that they make or have hopes of being able to account for in their budgets for years to come.

wilma varnody of pendergrass, kentucky was asked what it was about the music that had convinced her to fill her cart at wal-mart with over $6,000 worth of soon-to-fail electronic gadgets. I think she said it best, when she simply stated, “there’s a groove to this music. it makes me want to power our economy to the point where our enemies become enfeebled and our allies smile with joy.”

beautiful music, indeed.

sic alps are better than ever! this various artists 10″ rules!

milk was spilled

this dinosaur, enraged because it had yet to painted, escaped its post and ran around biting the heads off of children and weaker animals yesterday.

city officials have ordered more paint.

this is my new guinea pig. his name is wrecker. he’s very awesome and he seems to like hockey, which is always a plus.

I’m sort of planning to make him a pizza!

this 7 inch record has been banned in the state of vermont, after 40 different families have given up their cats for adoption upon listening to it.

“the controversial nu-mod slab of vinyl is said to have supernatural powers. it displaces the love some people feel for their cats,” said Internation Cat Association president Morris Thacatt.

is their no joy left in this world? I ask you…